Vol. 1 Issue 4, Winter 1997
Sharing by Marj Massey
Natural existence is cyclical. We are born tiny and expand until we become wizened and die. In this process we make experiences that are opportunities to witness a reality that does not change -- a reality that is beyond time and space. This awareness can be ignored or appreciated and increasingly expressed.
I am on the downhill side of middle age. I have fabricated experiences that have given me both physical and emotional pain. I have thought about suicide seriously, examined it spiritually, and concluded that it was a more binding solution, not a way out of my human unhappiness.
I hope I have grown wiser. I know without a doubt that I have become more accepting of myself and others. True self-acceptance was my major stumbling block. I found it much easier to focus on my faults and negative thoughts until one day I was surprised by the realization that a joy had replaced the ever-present, subtle self-condemnation.
I felt different. I was different. But i was not accidentally different. I had broken out of my pattern because I wanted to. I put much effort into allowing myself to see life differently. I became willing to see solutions that were not established patterns. I felt more expansive and inclusive. I was more forgiving and less afraid.
I am physically contracting while spiritually expanding. Instead of dying I feel as though I am just coming alive to what is meaningful. I have broken out of my fear of the birth/death cycle by realizing that the body is simply a vehicle to remember a forever-expanding spiritual existence.
We can not find the truth of us, however, by protecting the body life and living in fear. Our belief in body life simply locks us into patterns that are painful and defeating. Mostly with sge we become rigid physically, mentally, emotionally. We do not bend; we will not examine; we insist. We are "fearable," not lovable.
Our bodies wear out and the parts’ replacement is costly and often ineffective. Our comeliness erodes. It is more difficult to be seen and heard by a world that values appearances. We are displaced by the younger and more fit, those not so badly beaten up by their thoughts. And this happens because we believe life is a birth to death experience: we fear losing our bodies; cling to them desperately, and punish them mercilessly. We value what does not really matter – MATTER, and we toss aside what really does matter – SPIRIT.
When we live in spirit, we are ageless because the interior, not the exterior, is our true dwelling place. Until we live in spirit, we are not really living; we are falsely empowering what does not matter. Let us try changing our perceptions. It is the only way to experience what we REALLY already have and are.
Truth needs no defense; it does need individual expression constantly. Let us forgive all perceptions and see a new interpretation manifest. Let us begin this moment and every moment. If we do, we will not fall into the blackness of fear. we will fly!
©Marj Massey, 1997
Photo by Robert B. Campbell@1998,All Rights Reserved.
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Graphic by Maxfield Parrish, "Daybreak"
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